Is your new relationship making you feel more grounded than ever? But at the same time, it also feels uplifting? Emotional attraction has an effortless and easy feel to it. It feels strong but also calm.
Think of qualities like trust, reliability, safety, acceptance, and meaningfulness. Think of words like depth, comfort, joy, ease, and peace. These emotions would resonate with you if what you are feeling is an emotional connection with someone.
Did you spend the entire night talking to a new guy you met on a night out? Have you woken up with a text that says how much he loved the conversation?
Is your new man keen to make you meet his friends? This hint of neediness and wanting to show you off are signs of emotional attraction from a man.
Can your husband of 12 years just not wait to plan the next vacation with you that you have been taking every six months for the last 12 years? His ongoing willingness to share experiences with you is a sign too.
If you are in a relationship with a man, these signs of deep attraction may not be as clear as day. Society’s gender constructs say that men don’t show emotions, and that vulnerability is a sign of weakness. This is why your man may not be saying it in words that he feels a deep emotional connection with you. But if it feels right, there will be some classic signs of emotional attraction that you can spot from a mile away. Let us look at why he feels emotionally attracted to you and what these signs are.
To be able to spot the signs of emotional attraction from a man, it is important to know what emotional attraction looks like! While “attraction” is the power to evoke liking or desire in someone, emotional attraction is one of the other varied forms. Other forms are a sexual attraction, romantic attraction, and sensual attraction. Intellectual attraction and aesthetic attraction are also in the mix.
Sexual attraction is physical; romantic attraction is the desire to date a person, to have a relationship. But emotional attraction is much deeper. It happens when we feel a sense of closeness, connection, attachment, and comfort to be vulnerable with a person.
Good relationships are a mix of a few of these attractions. A great relationship however is a mix of most of these attractions. Feeling healthy amounts of physical attraction for your partner, feeling admiration for their intellect, feeling a deeper connection through shared values, and wanting to build a life with them is the vision of a great relationship. And who doesn’t want that!!
Emotional attraction is probably the most indispensable one for a joyous lasting relationship. We feel emotionally attracted to someone because we feel the need to connect with them at a deeper level. The need to find someone with whom we share similar core values, aspirations, fears and even dislikes is real. We want to have someone who just gets us. Who feels excited by the same things in life. Isn’t that what love is made of?
10 Signs Of Emotional Attraction From A Man
So, how do you know if you are emotionally attracted to someone or are witnessing the experience of emotional attraction? It is far easier to know if you are emotionally attracted to someone than to know for sure what the other person has been feeling. So let us begin with that. You would feel all the “feelings”. All those words we mentioned before, you would feel them in your blood. Things would feel like they fit. Like this person totally gets you.
Reading yourself is much easier than reading the subtle cues someone else leaves for you. So, what do you do when you are left wondering if he feels the same way as you? Is he emotionally attracted to you or not?
Your best bet is to observe and look for these signs of emotional attraction from a man that we have listed out for you. These signs not only work for new relationships but old ones too.
Here are 10 signs of emotional attraction from a man that will help you spot the right guy for you.
1. He talks to you – A sign of deep attraction
By “talk” we don’t mean “opening up to you” as of yet. We will come to that later. Right now, we are talking about just talking. Talking about anything under the sun. Talking without thinking too much – a thinking-out-loud exercise. It could be meaningless gossip about a workmate, or deeper musings about the future. It could be plans he has for the evening or the terrible dream he had.
With emotional attraction, when you two chat, time just flies by. Do you hear a lot of “Do you know what happened to me today?” Or a “You know what, I don’t think I like that film everyone is loving so much”. If a man is constantly talking to you, being able to share whatever comes to his mind, it shows that he feels comfortable around you.
It also shows that he believes you will understand what he thinks and how he feels. It is evident he does not feel judged by you. On top of all this, by sharing all sorts of ideas with you, he really wants to share a piece of himself with you. These are clear signs of emotional attraction from a man.
2. He wants to spend time with you
The more someone wants to spend on you the most precious asset in one’s life, time, the more they must like you, isn’t it? Does your partner constantly make plans with you? If you live separately, does he drop in often? Does he hate it that you have been busy the entire week (but of course doesn’t throw a tantrum about it, because, well, he understands busyness)?
Wanting to spend time with someone is a very obvious sign of deep attraction. No one would want to do that with someone they are not comfortable with. He is clearly not afraid of conversations, awkward silences, vulnerabilities, boredom, and the like to pop up. *
3. He wants to share experiences with you
Sharing experiences is a way to get to know a person better. Think of travel. A visit to an art gallery or museum. A picnic at a park. An open air movie show. A curated culinary experience. Dance classes. If someone wants to do these things with you, it is clear they want to experience life with you. They want to see different shades of your personality. And they are okay with you seeing theirs.
4. He feels comfortable being vulnerable with you
We have often heard that vulnerability may seem like weakness but is actually a sign of strength. Your man probably knows it too, but it is not easy for men to be vulnerable considering societal pressure to behave in a certain way. Men are made to feel comfortable expressing emotions of anger, frustration, and disappointment with others. But are chastised for showing fear, pain, heartache, and sensitivity.
Despite that, if he has shown his vulnerable side to you, it could be one of the major signs of emotional attraction from a man. For your man, being vulnerable could include sharing sensitive stories, happy or sad ones. Childhood memories. Talking about their fears. Expressing the inability to do something. Crying. Feeling overwhelmed with emotions. When a man is vulnerable with a woman, it indicates that he clearly trusts her and feels safe with her.
5. He loves introducing you to his people
If he loves introducing you to his friends and family, he sees you as an important part of his life. Moreover, he clearly sees some sort of stability with you. He can imagine a future with you. He would never feel comfortable sharing this part of his life with his people if he thought it was temporary or meaningless. A person’s ego would never allow him to declare to the world what he might perceive as a failure in the future, or what he doesn’t admire himself.
Wanting to share his world with you also means that he feels proud of you. To him, it is a privilege to have you in his life. He hopes his family will look at you through his eyes and see what he sees. He is sure they will feel proud of him for having you as his special person. These are plentiful reasons and signs of emotional attraction from a man that show he values you.
6. He asks for your advice
A man respects a woman if he values her opinion and asks for her advice. One looks up to someone only if they think of them as wise and intelligent. If your man asks you for your advice on all sorts of matters, it shows that he is connected to you emotionally. It shows that he thought of you in his moment of uncertainty and confusion and looked up to you to bring clarity.
He probably looks for you when he is emotionally stuck somewhere with his family. This means that he thinks you are emotionally mature. He asks for your opinion related to the areas of your interest or your work. This shows that he listens to you carefully and knows what you are good at. Do not take lightly the lighter advice-seeking he does, like picking out a shirt for him; he cares about looking good for you. Or deciding what he should order for takeout.
7. He values your space
You have a keeper on your hands if he lets you be and do your own thing. He makes sure that you know how much he misses you, but at the same time, he lets you know that he respects how you want to spend your time. A guy who is emotionally attracted to you will show it in different ways all the time.
He will value your personal space in the relationship, letting you be alone when you want to. The importance of building a corner of his own, and encouraging you to have yours is not lost on him. He wants you to have both a literal physical space as well as the mental space to ponder over your own thoughts. He will not try to take over and rob you of all your energy and attention. This is an important element and a lack of it can suggest a wish to coerce and control.
A guy who shares a deep emotional connection with you will support you in the pursuit of your idea of success and happiness. This is possible because he respects you and wants to nurture your uniqueness to its fullest potential. He knows that this is only possible if you have space to be. Having this kind of trust to “let go” is among the most prominent signs of emotional attraction from a man. This is how you attract a man emotionally and how he attracts you – by letting each other be.
8. He depends on you
If a man feels safer knowing he has you and knows he can rely on you, it’s a sign of a deep soul connection with someone. And how do you know if you have a deep connection with someone? If you can provide him with that certainty, that dependability, and that emotion has been able to reach him, you should be extremely proud of your relationship. It shows you two share a very special bond and that he is as emotionally attracted to you as much as you are to him.
You would find him depending on you for all sorts of things. This doesn’t mean frequently cleaning up after him, or fixing messes created by him. That would be a sign of being undervalued and taken for granted. We are talking about you being his “go-to” person when he needs support. He frequently reaches out to you when he faces trouble; big or small.
He not only wants to share problems but he also leans on you to celebrate his happiness. You are amongst the first people he shares his victories with. Sharing joy too can make people feel vulnerable. So if he is looking at you to laugh with and celebrate with, amongst other more obvious needs for support, you can be sure these are signs of emotional attraction from a man.
9. He stays connected with you
Many people in half-hearted relationships spend a lot of time explaining to their partner how they didn’t find the time to respond or tell them they were busy. Staying connected is not that difficult. If you share an emotional bond with someone, staying in touch feels natural. No extra effort is needed to communicate with the person you love. For someone who values you, telling you what they have been up to, wanting to know about your whereabouts happens effortlessly.
If you find yourself frequently complaining about feeling ignored by your partner, if they have to make excuses every time with the same “I just didn’t find the time, I was too busy”, it is a clear sign they are not invested in you. We are not talking about unrealistic expectations. Everyone needs their own space and with the general busyness of life, it may not be possible to be together all the time. But it is natural to want to be in the loop, to want to feel connected even when life takes over.
So if you have someone who never forgets to inform you what’s keeping him away from you, he is a keeper. He values your time and doesn’t want to leave you anxious and hanging. He doesn’t want you to worry. To him dropping a small text – “Things have kept me busy. But I am thinking of you. Can’t wait to see you.” is not that difficult. Or give you a short call. Or try to make up for lost time later. He will express his gratitude for your patience and understanding. With a person like him, you will feel that you matter. Classic signs of deep attraction!
10. He tries to impress you
We can tell you so much about the things a guy will do when he feels an emotional connection with you. But for now, this one would be the last. Last but definitely not least. A guy who feels emotionally attracted to you will want to impress you all the time. It matters to him what you think of him. He wants to not only live up to your expectations but he wants to be better and make you proud.
Great partnerships are supposed to want us to be better people, to live up to our full potential. This can happen healthily only with a partner who shows love and acceptance for who we currently are. So, if your guy tries to impress you all the time, that is not necessarily a sign of insecurity.
He feels admired by you. There is stability and maturity in your relationship, but he does not want to be complacent about it. He wants to grow. Don’t these signs of emotional attraction from a man show that he is invested in the relationship?
Meaningful lasting relationships are based on deep emotional connections. Such relationships feel easy to live with. A lot like the way you feel the morning after a full night’s restful sleep. Fresh, relaxed, healthy, and hopeful. A great connection feels like that.
If the guy you are with makes you feel this way and does all these things that we have listed, you are very lucky!
Jayne warwicker BSc – Founder of The Lioness Power Coaching System