December 22, 2023

Banish the emotional trauma of a breakup
By Jayne Warwicker

When you hold onto emotional trauma and heartbreak, it can keep you stuck in an unhealthy place that prevents you from finding happiness…

Feelings of unhappiness and distress can take over your health and well-being if they are not dealt with promptly after an emotional trauma such as a breakup. Life isn’t always easy and when it comes to matters of the heart, it’s important to realise that it’s OK to seek help in these matters. Of course, close friends can be a massive support network, however, they usually (understandably) will tell you anything that will make you feel better in that instance. What you need, for long-term emotional stability and resilience, is professional advice that will address the underlying issues and ensure that you do not limp from one relationship disaster to the next.

We should never underestimate the impact of emotional trauma. Any relationship stress can cause ongoing health problems, especially if you are holding onto the pain and anger for a long time.

Today, there are many free online resources to help out individuals of all genders going through a difficult relationship transition, and I strongly advise you to take advantage of this valuable and free information as I did during my divorce. However, should you be in a situation where you can seek professional help, a coach can provide the time and the safe space to unpick and explore the reasons that the trauma remains, why heartbreak seems to be a constant in your life and identify any patterns or behaviours that can be ‘tweaked’ to ensure a happy and healthy future.

The basis of all the work I do is to ensure you are confident enough to always present as your authentic self…

When you are comfortable in your skin and don’t need someone else to make you feel whole, you have grasped a very important lesson that will serve you well for many years to come in both your personal and professional life. You can then be both completely happy and fulfilled on your own, but also open to receiving love and new relationships in your life. Also, should you then experience further heartache, you will have the confidence, tools and techniques to get promptly back on track. minimising any impact on your life experience.

Why do I need a coach?

I should be able to do that myself right?’ is what I hear my clients say. There is some truth to this as you are essentially the only person that can make change. HOWEVER, a coach can help in identifying the destructive behaviours and thought patterns that are keeping you ‘stuck’ in this world of disappointing relationships and continuous heartbreak. We can help identify and reflect these to you, which then results in the ‘light bulb’ moments. The ‘Oh my God, I do do that don’t I! I never realised before!’. From here we can ‘tweak’ this behaviour and destructive thought patterns. Also, a coach can support you as you put this new way of being into practice and ensure that these new skills are integrated into your life as a permanent feature.

Take a break from dating…

Nooooo I hear you say; I want a relationship NOW so I can’t waste any time! However, taking time away from dating allows you to get to know yourself without any other influences because you are only focusing on yourself during this time. I had one particular client who, when setting her goals, insisted that she had only one; she wanted a partner within 3 months. Within 6 weeks this goal no longer featured on her radar! She realised that as she had grown so much as a person and was seeing and experiencing the changes in her life, a new relationship was not her obsessive focus anymore (her words).

In the 12-week ‘New Life, New Love, New You’ transformational course that I offer, she stopped internet dating, removed the people in her life who were causing her stress and anxiety and adding nothing positive to her life, and left the job she hated to pursue her dream career. She stated that she could now see how important it is to allow yourself time to indulge in ‘just taking care of you’, a luxury hardly any of us allow ourselves.


Seeking support from a coach is a strength, not a weakness…

Admitting you need some help or guidance, is not a weakness, it is a huge strength. It takes a mature person to own their mistakes and take the time to work through them. When you KNOW something isn’t working for you, it brings you closer to understanding what does bring you happiness.

We have to change the repetitive mindset that is holding us prisoner and preventing us from having the full life we desire. If you were meant to be in a past relationship, you would still be there today. The Universe has a tough way of kicking your butt to lead you in another direction, but if you listen closely to your intuition, you will seldom be steered onto the wrong path.

Self-sabotage is not your friend, so stop letting it control your future happiness…

Feeling rejected can be difficult to overcome and can alter your self-esteem for a very long time. Don’t let the lack of confidence derived from past breakups dictate how you live your life. A coach can help you decipher whether you are dealing with anger, sadness, jealousy, envy, denial, or feeling stuck and not knowing how to move forward.

You might not be aware that you are living in a repetitious cycle, because it’s a familiar way of life for you and that is all you have ever known. Repeating similar mistakes certainly isn’t in your best interest and will not bring you the love you are searching for. Learning from those mistakes is a different story so don’t regret past heartbreak; learn from them.

Own your part in what transpired in any partnership you had in the past. It takes two to make or break a relationship, so take the time to reflect on that and then take action. Don’t let negative emotions control your future. Always be grateful for life’s ups and downs, and never be afraid to ask for guidance when you feel stuck.

All of the issues discussed here are addressed in detail in my ‘New Life, New Love, New You’ 12-week Lioness Power coaching course, which although has a tried and tested format, is 100% bespoke to each individual, addressing what is most important to you and your life. To find further information, please choose this option on the website and should you have further questions I would love to hear from you, completely free of charge.

Love and Best wishes,

Jayne x


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