When you hold onto emotional trauma and heartbreak, it can keep you stuck in an unhealthy place that prevents you from finding happiness
Emotional feelings of distress can take over your health and well-being if they are not dealt with promptly. Life isn’t easy and when it comes to matters of the heart, it’s important to realise that it’s OK to seek help in these matters. Of course, close friends can be a massive support network, however, they usually (understandably) will tell you anything that will make you feel better. For long-term emotional stability and resilience, you need professional advice to address the underlying issues.
We should never underestimate the impact of emotional trauma. Any relationship stress can cause ongoing health problems, especially if you are holding onto the pain and anger for a long time.
Today, there are many free online resources to help individuals going through a difficult relationship transition, and I strongly advise you to take advantage of this valuable and free information. However, should you be in a situation where you can seek professional help, a coach can provide the time and the safe space to unpick and explore the reasons that the trauma still remains, why heartbreak seems to be a constant in your life and identify any patterns or behaviour that can be ‘tweaked’ to ensure a happy and healthy future.
The mainstay of all of my work with my clients is to ensure they are confident enough to always present as their authentic self
When you are comfortable in your own skin and don’t need someone else to make you feel whole, you have grasped a very important lesson that will serve you well for many years to come. You can be completely happy and fulfilled on your own, but you’re also open to receiving love and new relationships in your life.
‘I should be able to do that myself right?’, is what I hear my clients say. Yes, the only person that can make the changes is you. HOWEVER, a coach can help in identifying the destructive behaviours and thought patterns that are keeping you ‘stuck’ in this world of disappointing relationships and continuous heartbreak. We can identify and reflect these back to you, and this is where the ‘light bulb’ moments can be felt.
The ‘Oh my God, I really do do that don’t I! I never realised before!’. From here we can ‘tweak’ this behaviour/thought pattern and you will immediately see your life experience start to transform 😊.
Take a break from dating
Nooooo I hear you say; I want a relationship NOW so I can’t waste any time! However, taking time away from dating allows you to get to know yourself without any other influences because you are only focusing on yourself during this time. I had one particular client, when setting her goals, that insisted that she had only one; she wanted a partner within 3 months. However, to cut a long story short, within 6 weeks this goal no longer featured on her radar! She had grown so much as a person and was seeing and experiencing the changes in her life, that a new relationship was not the obsessive focus (her words).
In the 12-week ‘New Life, New Love, New You’ transformational course that I offer she stopped internet dating, removed the people in her life who were exacerbating her unhelpful behaviour, and left the job she hated to pursue her dream career. She stated that now she could see how important it was to allow yourself time to indulge in ‘just taking care of you’, a luxury hardly any of us allow ourselves.
Admitting you need some help or guidance, is not a weakness, it is a strength. It takes a mature person to own their mistakes and take the time to work through them. When you KNOW something isn’t working for you, it brings you closer to understanding what does bring you happiness.
You have to change the repetitive mindset that is holding you prisoner and preventing you from having the full life you desire. If you were meant to be in a past relationship, you would still be there today. The Universe has a tough way of kicking your butt to lead you in another direction, but if you listen closely to your intuition, you will seldom be steered onto the wrong path.
Self-sabotage is not your friend, so stop letting it control your future happiness!
Feeling rejected can be difficult to overcome and can alter your self-esteem for a very long time. Don’t let the lack of confidence derived from past breakups dictate how you live your life. A coach can help you decipher whether you are dealing with anger, sadness, jealousy, envy, denial, or just a feeling of being stuck and not knowing how to move forward.
You might not be aware that you are living in a repetitious cycle, because it’s a familiar way of life for you and that is all you have ever known. Repeating similar mistakes certainly isn’t in your best interest and will not bring you the love you are searching for. Learning from those mistakes is a different story so don’t regret past heartbreak; learn from them.
Own your part in what transpired in any partnership you had in the past. It takes two to make or break a relationship, so take the time to reflect on that and then take action. Don’t let negative emotions control your future. Always be grateful for life’s ups and downs, and never be afraid to ask for guidance when you feel stuck.
I hope this article has helped you in some way, even if just to make you think about your present and past relationships.
Should you want to discuss this subject further do not hesitate to call or text me on 07818504541 and we will arrange a convenient time for your free, 30 mins break-through call. You will not be committing to further sessions and you will hear no hard sell from me.
Hope to speak to you soon,
Regards,
Jayne x
